We Have a DATE!!!

November 22, 2010

Thankfully, the rumors were true! Turns out that although the courts are closed from Aug. 6 through Sept. 27th, the administrative offices are remaining open so they are still assigning court dates. We received our travel email from Holt today, notifying us of our court date where we will appear before the High Courts in Ethiopia to legally adopt our son.

I am grateful to finally KNOW when we're going. I am grateful to have months to plan ahead for our trip. I am grateful that we will return just before Thanksgiving and not only have time to reflect on hopefully being the new legal parents to M., but also time to recover from our whirlwind trip to Ethiopia and back!

Holt is requesting that we arrive in Addis Ababa, ET on Saturday, Nov. 20th - which means we will have to leave Pittsburgh on Friday. On Sunday morning, we will attend an orientation, then get to meet M.. That afternoon, we will be briefed for court and then will spend time with M.'s pediatrician. Monday morning, we will go to court. Monday afternoon, we will again spend some time with M., but then Monday night, we will have to leave ET to fly home (without M. - boo hoo, sad face, many tears... ) - arriving home on Tuesday. Yep, that's 2 days of travel to get there and 2 days of travel to get home, for 2 days/2 nights in ET. I can guarantee you I will be THANKFUL to be home and out of that plane on Tuesday! (and I can almost also guarantee that I will be thankful for flexaril and vicodin for my back pain) ;-)

Seriously though, we are thrilled. We are grateful. We are overjoyed. We are excited.

We don't yet know when we will be able to bring M. home. Embassy appointments are generally anywhere from 4 - 12 weeks after court. Another adoptive mom who has a court date on the Friday before ours was told today that she would most likely not travel for their Embassy appointment until January - which means that we most likely will not travel until January either - but we're still hoping for Christmas miracles!

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

Psalm 118:1

Friends, Food & other random good stuff

It's been a while since I posted anything. It's not that there wasn't anything to report. It's just that there wasn't anything BIG to report. I kept waiting for the next big thing, but here's what I realized - in the adoption process, there are only a few big things but many, many small things that are all equally important in the long run. Lots of small things have occurred in the past few weeks, so I figured I should probably share them because although they aren't BIG, they are important to us.

First, Eric and I went out a few weeks ago for our first Ethiopian meal. We expected to enjoy it, and we did. In fact, we loved it. We both like spicy - which is a good thing when eating a lot of Ethiopian food. Another thing that we loved about it is the "community" feel of the meal. Ethiopians don't typically use utensils. A lot of their dishes are "wats" - basically like thick stews - which are served on another staple of their diet - "injera" which is a flat bread made from Teff. The food is eaten by ripping a piece of injera from the side, covering the bite that you want and (gracefully) pinching & scooping the morsel into your mouth with the injera. The meals are served family style so Eric and I shared a giant platter.

Honestly, the food doesn't look very appetizing. Here's a picture. You can draw you own comparisons as to what it looks like. I'll spare you my opinion. :-)




But, trust me. It was GOOD!!! Very good! And, it was fun. We talked a lot during the meal and we look forward to going back to share the experience with friends, family, and especially with Markos when he comes home.


Our wonderful friends have planned an Adoption Celebration/Birthday party for M./fundraiser picnic for us. We will be getting together next Saturday - M.'s 4th birthday - to celebrate, visit, and eat. I have ordered some injera and some Ethiopian spices so I can (hopefully) make some Ethiopian dishes to share on this special day.


Speaking of friends, another "little" event that has occurred recently is that we have made contact with a family who just happened to recently adopt and bring home one of M.'s good buddies from the care center. They recently traveled to Ethiopia and met M. while they were there to get their son. They said that he is precious, that the children are VERY, VERY loved and well cared for, that they're learning some English, and that their transition thus far has been amazing! That makes me so happy. Additionally, they also would love for their son to be able to maintain his friendship from Ethiopia so we plan to stay in touch and to possibly allow the boys to Skype once we bring M. home. What a blessing that he will be able to keep one of the relationships that he had in Ethiopia!! God is so good!


Other news - we received M.'s lab results from when he was first moved to Addis (the capital of Ethiopia). Additionally, we received 3 updated pictures of him. Oh how I wish I could post them on here. He is SO CUTE! And he looks so good. So much healthier. So much happier. While it thrilled me to see them, it also hurt a little because he's changed so much already and we're missing it. But, he'll be home soon and then we won't miss the changes & growth for the rest of his precious life.


The reports and pictures were, of course, forwarded to our International Adoption Pediatrician for review. Her report was great. Aside from noticing a possible fungal scalp infection (which we already knew from the other families that a lot of the kids were coming home with scalp ringworm so this was no surprise), she thinks he looks great. His lab results and blood work were great.


Speaking of paperwork, we received our corrected I-171 form from USCIS with our updated age range. This was the last piece of paperwork that needed to be completed before we can travel to bring M. home. We love America, but seriously, dealing with the U.S. government agencies has been the WORST & most difficult part of this entire process thus far. This is the last thing that we needed from them at this point, so we are relieved to be finished with it.


Lastly, we took another trip to the recycling center this morning. We added another $64 to our travel fundraising efforts from your aluminum cans. Thanks for dropping them off for us. We appreciate your support!

OK, that's the update. Lots of little bits of good news, fun times, and things to come.

Court Case Submission!

Today is August 6th -- the day that the Ethiopian High Courts close until September 27th. Today is also the day that we finally received word from Ethiopia that our court case has been submitted. Shooooo!!!! Nothing like getting things done at the last possible moment.

I have been going crazy waiting for word that we had been submitted. Already knowing that the next 2 months were going to be hard - waiting, knowing that nothing was being done to move us closer to our son - so I was really, really hoping that we would be submitted before the closures. Therefore, we are relieved, happy, and ready to go on with our lives until October -- as if we had any choice, really! ;-)

I'm sure the months will fly by. We are going to the lake for a weekend in August. We will be celebrating our new son's birthday and our adoption with great friends at a picnic on August 28th. Eric's work has a picnic at the end of August. School starts on the 24th. Daniel's beloved ice hockey starts back up mid-September. I need to plan some sort of birthday party for Daniel's 7th birthday (yikes!) in September. Eric has to go to California for work sometime in September. And, I am planning to paint & redecorate the boys' room once the kids start back to school. Yep, I'm hoping to stay VERY busy, knowing that all the while a little piece of my heart will be in Ethiopia.

Please continue to pray for M. He will turn 4 on August 28th. We sent him a talking card and a picture of our family. And we pray that he knows that he is loved and that he has a family waiting to bring him home!

Trash for Cash - Venturing into Fundraising

From the moment when I first felt called to adopt, there has always been a peace that passes understanding regarding the financial aspect of it. As you all know, international adoption isn't cheap. In fact, it costs a LOT. A lot of money that we didn't, don't, wouldn't probably have. And yet, I have always known that if we were willing to heed His call, that He would provide for it. [Please know that this is NOT like me at all. I am a high anxiety, detailed,(neurotic) planner, and control-freak. Yet, I have known from day 1 that I didn't need to worry, and I haven't. Neither has Eric.

Thus far, God has provided. In amazing ways. First, when we started this adoption, we were thrilled to discover that Eric's employer, at the time, offered adoption benefits. $3K before the child came home, and an additional $3K afterwards. Second, the federal government made some changes to the Federal Adoption Tax Credit -- raising it to a little over $13K and making it such that they will actually pay you the reimbursement as a credit when you file your taxes at the end of the year. Then, when we were mid-process, Eric changed jobs somewhat unexpectedly, or at least not really planned too much in advance. We had felt blessed with the adoption benefits at his previous employer, so imagine how thrilled we were to learn that the new employer had benefits which were almost 3X the previous employers' benefits. Plus, his previous employer was generous enough to go ahead and allow us to submit the first half of his benefits there before he left.

These benefits are all fantastic, however, for the most part, they are all reimbursement-based such that we have to pay the costs up front, then get the money back once we have our new little one home. Because we were so blessed with the benefits we were receiving, we made a decision not to apply for any adoption grants because there are a lot of other families out there adopting who aren't fortunate enough to have employers with adoption benefits. We decided to take out a home equity loan for a short time to pay some of the costs up front, then use the reimbursements at the end of the year to pay off the loan. Meanwhile, we would save for our travel so we'd be ready to pay those costs when they occurred.

But, as many know, the world of adoption is a constantly changing place, and several things have happened since we started this process:

1) The Ethiopian government has changed it's requirements and now requires the adoptive parents to make 2 trips to Ethiopia.

2) With that change in requirements, a slow-down and bottle-neck has occurred within our agency with the submitting & processing of court dates as well as the time to travel to bring the children home.

So, while at one time, we were certain that we'd have our little one home before the end of the year, now we're not so sure. If we don't have him home by the end of the year, then we will have to wait on that tax credit for another year. Additionally, our travel expenses have now doubled with the additional trip. Families that are currently traveling are reporting airfares in the ranges of $1500 - $2500 a ticket. Additionally, Ethiopia has a cash-based economy so while we were in Ethiopia, everything must be paid in cash so there will be no credit card usage to help fund the travel.

Therefore, while we initially had hoped not to have to do any sort of fundraising for our adoption, we have now decided that it probably wouldn't hurt -- mostly just to help out with the travel expenses. We have read about a lot of different fundraisers that other families are doing -- community garage sales, awesome t-shirt sales, etc. -- but none felt right for us. We both hate to ask friends to buy anything or give us money. I don't know why (probably pride), but we just do. But then I was driving Daniel to Vacation Bible School 2 weeks ago and heard a story on K-Love about a couple who needed to raise money for their wedding so they decided to collect & recycle aluminum cans. Over a period of a few months, they raised a few thousand dollars.

Because Eric and I drink a lot of Diet Coke and therefore have a lot of recycling anyway, I thought - that sounds perfect for us! ;-) So, we talked about it and decided to go for it. We figured that we aren't asking people for their cash, we're asking for their trash! What could it hurt?! And so, we sent out emails and walked around the neighborhood passing out fliers and have begun collecting aluminum from our neighbors and friends. And, we're glad that we are. In one week, we collected an entire truck full of aluminum!




Some friends have gone out of their way to help out. When we returned from vacation (before we even officially started collecting), we found a garbage can marked "recycle" with a hole cut out of the top, completely filled with crushed cans in our driveway behind our house. A friend decided to help us get started. Some people have been really, truly thrilled to help - telling others about it and collecting from their families and friends. Others have told us about places where they thought we could collect & have spoken to managers at these locations requesting that they give their cans to us. One neighbor collected and delivered aluminum scrap (siding, gutters, etc) from her son who is a contractor. And, after sending out the email about the can collection fundraiser, other wonderful friends called and asked us to figure out a date when they could hold a "fundraiser picnic" for our adoption.

I believe that we are ALL called by God to care for the orphan and the widow and the poor. I do not, however, believe that all are called to adopt themselves, so maybe we're giving people a chance to help in a way that works for them. Around here, we're fond of the phrase, "you can't out-give God". It's true. If you give, you will be blessed. If you're called to adopt, adopt. If you're called to support someone else who is adopting, then do that. Sponsor a child through Compassion or World Vision. Give to some other organization that cares for "the least of these". But do it. YOU will be blessed. And in the process, you will be blessing others as well. We are blessed to call many of you friends! Thank you for supporting us!









Your trash for Week 1 = $76.06 towards bringing our sweet boy home

Every Child Deserves a Home

Bad news in the midst of a GREAT vacation!

As many of you know, we just returned from vacation. Each year, Eric, the kids & I drive to VA, stay in a hotel on Thursday night, visit King's Dominion amusement park on Friday, stay in the hotel for another night, and then get up early & head to Sandbridge Beach (just south of VA beach)to meet up with my parents and my sister and her family for a week at the beach.

At the amusement park, it was sunny & in the 80's, but breezy so it wasn't too hot. We aren't sure why - although we're guessing it was a combination of luck and the holiday weekend - but the amusement park was at about 25% it's normal crowd so we practically walked onto every ride that we wanted to ride. The kids even rode a few rides several times (like, uh, 4 or 5 times!). It was the best time we have ever had at Kings Dominion, or any amusement park for that matter!

The beach was equally awesome. Truly, I don't think it would have been possible for us to have had better weather. It was warm, sunny & beautiful...EVERY DAY!! Not a single rain drop fell the entire time we were there. There were no bugs on the beach, no jelly fish problems, the water was fairly warm, and there was hardly a cloud in the sky most days. The kids are all at wonderful ages where a) they all got along really well; b) they're pretty self-sufficient most of the time; and c) we don't have to watch them like hawks the entire time we're on the beach for fear of them drowning. This made for a really relaxing week for us parents (and grandparents!).

Over the years, we seem to plan fewer activities and go out less while we're there. And, I have to say, I like it! Although I showered everyday (I know - you're happy to hear it!), I only styled my hair & put on make-up once the entire week - the night that we do the family pictures and go out to dinner. Because we had nothing planned and were never rushed or in a hurry, we could stay at the beach as long as we wanted, putz around and take as long as we wanted to finally get showered after the beach, etc. Ahhhhh, rest and relaxation...... that's the life!

[I will post a few pictures once I have a moment to get them all off my camera and onto the computer.]

Now, the bad news. During the week, a few things happened that are not great news for our adoption process. First, the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia up and cut all agencies' embassy appointments in half -- pretty much effective immediately. There was apparently a lot of mis-communication between the embassy and the agencies. It was awful for a lot of families that already had their travel booked and were planning to leave to go pick up their little ones (who are already LEGALLY their children!!) the NEXT DAY, when they were told to cancel their flights, that their appointments had been canceled. Can you imagine?! Some families already had in-laws on flights headed to their homes to watch their other children while they were in Ethiopia. Almost all families had to pay extremely expensive change fees to change their flights (which already cost between $1500 - $2500 for each parent plus the return ticket for the child(ren)). Obviously, disturbing, awful news for these families.

How this affects us (and the entire Ethiopia program) is -- each child adopted from Ethiopia must have an interview appointment at the U.S. Embassy in order to get their U.S. Passports and U.S. Visa documents issued before they can enter the United States. Prior to this cut in appointments, the U.S. Embassy granted our adoption agency 10 appointment slots every other Tuesday. There is one slot per child, so families that are adopting sibling groups take up more than one slot. Currently, there are over 30 families waiting to travel for Embassy appts from our agency. These are families who have already been to court & passed and are now legally the parents of these children; however, the children must stay in the orphanage until the parents can get this embassy appointment. Because the embassy has gone from 20 slots a month down to 10 slots a month, the time between passing court and getting to travel to bring the children home will go up considerably due to the back log of families waiting to travel.

This cut is due to a staffing shortage in Ethiopia at the U.S. Embassy. The Embassy has indicated that they anticipate the cut in appointments to only last "through the summer", but they have not yet given the agencies a set date as to when they will return to the normal schedule. Please pray that it is sooner as opposed to later so these children can get home with their new forever families as soon as possible!

You may be thinking, well, that's not so bad for you since you haven't even passed court yet. However, the second thing that occurred while we were on vacation is that the "rainy season court closure" dates were announced. Each year, the Ethiopian High Courts close for a period of approximately 2 to 6 weeks during the rainy season. This closure generally occurs late Aug - mid Sept at some point. However, this year, the courts will be closing from Aug. 6 through Sept. 27. As of Thursday, the Holt staff in Oregon had not yet heard from the staff in Ethiopia that our case had been submitted to court for a court date. This means that it is highly unlikely that we will receive a court date prior to the closures. Which means that we most likely won't get to go to court until sometime in October.

Then, depending on how backed up travel dates are with the Embassy staffing issues, we could end up not being able to have our little one home with us before Christmas.

We are trying to remind ourselves that God is in control and He is good ALL THE TIME, but it's hard - especially when it means that your child-to-be will have to stay in an orphanage for an additional 3 - 4 months, maybe more. Anyway, please pray that God's will be done, that M. continues to gain weight & stay healthy while he's in ET, and that we will have peace and patience as we wait on His timing.

Longing to be changed by what I see in Ethiopia

It's amazing the joy, the love, the heart-break, and the longing that we've already experienced vicariously hearing others' stories, seeing their videos and their pictures, reading our own son-to-be's medical records and social reports, and seeing his sweet face. The changes that have already occurred in our hearts and minds are amazing. I can't even imagine how I will forever be changed after we have the opportunity to travel to Ethiopia, but oh how I long for the day!