17 years ago today....

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It's a Shower! And You're Invited!!

In honor of my friend, Shonda @ Godwilladd, who will soon be embarking upon a trip to Ethiopia to adopt the older biological brother (MB) of her already adopted Ethiopian son (Taz), I invite you all to join me as we celebrate her "baby shower" by spreading a little love to those in Ethiopia affected by the famine!  Markos and his family are from the area where FOVC is serving.  Please consider helping out even if it's just a small gift.  Every little bit helps!

Here's Shonda to tell you all about it: 

*****

Hi friends,

This is Shonda from Godwilladd.  Lori has kindly let me take over her blog to tell you about an awesome Baby Shower like none other.  A couple of my friends have teamed up and we're trying to raise funds for an organization called FOVC.  They help provide aid and hope to the immediate areas where our kiddos are from, an area that has been hit hard by this horrible famine.

Shameless plug:  Will you hop on over to my shower?  I promise I won't make you smell mystery diapers and  no I won't let you wrap toilet paper around my abdomen.

For $13 FOVC can feed one starving child for one month.  So far, this shower has raised $710.  If you're amazing at math like myself, you know that 54 kids who didn't have food today, will have food tomorrow and for the next month because of the generosity of a select few.  Wow!  Can we make it 100 kids?  Will you please help me spread the word? 

Why? 

Of all the great charities out there, why have I chose to rally behind FOVC?  A few simple reasons:

1) There are a lot of other great charities that are working to fight this famine, and I (despite my cynicism of big organizations) have supported them.  But FOVC is the only NGO working directly in the areas my boys are from, and where their first families still live.  Even if I liked nothing else about FOVC, this one simple fact would make me want to support them.  Thankfully, there are lots of other things I like about them:

2) They are a very small grassroots organization and very conservative with their money.  All their workers are volunteers, and they do all their traveling on their own dime, which means all the money we give goes directly to feeding the kids and helping their community fight poverty with long-term goals in mind.

3) I have a close friend who has done aid work with them in Ethiopia (and is on her way back in a few weeks), knows many personal details about how they operate and spend their money.  She's a Dave Ramsey fiscal conservative like myself, and she fully endorses them.  They have an independent bookkeeper who verifies that over 96% of the funds go directly to Ethiopia.

4) Directly from the president of FOVC:  "We have an amazing team of volunteers! Our board members and officers (if I do say so myself) are doing outstanding work! We spend a lot of time and effort educating ourselves on best practices of economic development (it's what my husband does!) and strive to implement every program using best practices. This means we empower, not enable. Every effort we undertake is aimed at offering long-term sustainability, success...and HOPE

Have I convinced you they're great?
Click here and support them:

And then (this part is optional), click here and tell MB how excited you are about his arrival into our family.

Second Vacation Stop: Sandbridge Beach - Confessions & Disclaimer

I have to be honest.  I have been procrastinating writing about our summer vacation this year.  Although I had a nice time and I was happy that my family had a great time, somehow just posting all the great pictures won't show what I was really feeling in my heart.  The pictures show happy, laughing kids having a fantastic time.  You'd think it was all relaxation and peace and joy.  For example:

 See?  You hear the waves lapping the shore, the seagulls crying for food, the children laughing and screeching as they ride the waves to the shore or dig in the sand.  Right?   Were I to just post the pictures, you'd probably think I also had a wonderful, fun-filled vacation.  But the truth is, I didn't.

I'm sure many of you know that older child adoption isn't all rainbows and roses.  Perhaps my posts until now have made it seem like it is easy.  But the truth is that it's hard.  Not just the sleeping, eating, and insecurity issues, but also the abrupt change in your family dynamics, the huge changes that your other children endure, and the changes in your normal routines and activities.  Not to mention just going from having 2 children to having 3 children!  Definitely not peaceful, quiet, relaxing family time.  Maybe more frequently like the rough seas that we encountered on our last day on the beach.

Sometimes, it's like one wave after another wave after another wave with no end in sight.  No time to catch your breath.  No time to rest.  No time to relax.  No time to refuel.

Sometimes, it's just one big wave that knocks you flat on your face and leaves you with bruises and scrapes that take time to heal.

Leading up to this vacation, I was starting to dread going.  So many firsts.  Firsts are sometimes great -- first time on a roller coaster, first time in the swimming pool.  But other firsts are not so great -- first time on an extremely long car ride, first time staying for an extended period with a bunch of other people.  I knew this vacation was going to be hard and yet I was still surprised by how it hit me.  My anxiety was through the roof the entire week.  I had no patience at all.  I worried constantly about what everyone would think about Markos and how Markos would react to everything.  I worried about feeling like we HAD to make sure that Markos' first trip to the beach was a memorable, amazing, incredible trip.  Mostly, I felt like I had a ton of bricks weighing on my shoulders because I had to be the one to provide it. 

It was hard.  It was not as much fun as it normally is.  I cried on the deck, in our bedroom, and on the beach.  I was angry.  I was short-tempered.  I was exhausted.  I was frustrated.  My family pitched in to help after a while.  They saw that I was struggling...and that I was sad.  Here's the thing though.  It was mostly of my own making.  Sure, Markos sought attention far more than he normally does.  Sure, the sibling rivalry was far worse than it is at home.  Sure, Markos is a master instigator and knows how to push buttons like nobodies' business.  But really, I worried too much.  I put more stress on myself than I needed.  I failed to communicate with Eric.  And I wasn't praying enough or being diligent enough with doing my devotions.  

About halfway through the week, after a small meltdown (mine!), I finally realized that I hadn't been praying or doing devotions in the morning, that I could not do this parenting three children thing on my own (uh, DUH!), and that I had to start taking better care of myself if I wanted this to work.  I started praying each morning while we were there and reading my devotional book before leaving my room.  And, it actually worked (uh, DUH, of course it did!).  Without anyone knowing that I had made this focused effort to get back to starting my day with God, comments were made like, "you didn't even smile until Thursday", "the second half of the week, you seemed a lot better".  So, it wasn't just me.  Others noticed a difference in me as well.  

The vacation brought about a needed change in me, even if it wasn't the wonderful vacation for me that it was for my kids or the rest of the family.  I came home reminded that I need more of God and less of me.  I came home with a determination that I will be going to play tennis on Monday nights and Friday mornings because I need that time and exercise, for me AND for our family.   I came home and made the decision that I have to be better about going to bed on time.  Oh yes, and starting back on anxiety medication after returning home has helped tremendously, too.  

There.  With my little disclaimer for all those other adoptive mommas out there who are struggling, to not be deceived by my children's huge smiles and happy faces in the beach pictures to follow, I now feel better about posting vacation pictures soon!  And I rejoice in the Truth of God's Word when it says things like:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23

Falling Apart, but Still Laughing

Our whole family is falling apart.  My thumb is smashed and broken in two places.  Daniel was at MedExpress yesterday for a bug bite gone bad.  Diagnosis - Staph infection.  Now today, Eric finally broke down and went to have his leg checked.  He's been hobbling around since our vacation when he hurt his calf muscle playing lacrosse on the beach.  His attitude until today was "I am not letting my body win this one."  Well, after today, score 1 for the aging body; 0 for Eric.  Diagnosis - most likely torn calf muscle, rule out blood clot.  So, he came home on crutches and will be having an ultrasound soon and then an appointment with the Orthopedic doctor.  (mental note:  should just add their # to the speed dial).

For those of you who have known our family for long, you know that this is nothing new.  Eric has had more than his share of injuries.  But, for Markos, this was apparently totally new....and hilarious!  

The second Eric walked hobbled came in the door, Markos' eyes lit up and he got a huge smile on his face as he exclaimed, "what's that?!".  I laughed and asked, "what do you think they are?".  He said he knew, so I continued to prod, "well, what are they?".

He laughed and shouted, "fake feet!"

Eric kinda chuckled, but did not find it all nearly as funny as I did.  (Apparently SOMEONE needs more pain medication!)  

However, even he had to laugh after he continued on his way to the dining room table and Markos, still watching with excited interest, burst out with, "HA HA HA!!  You're SWINGING!!". 

Hee hee.  And he kinda was.  

Glad Markos finds it all very funny and interesting.  His reaction certainly made it more entertaining for me.  And laughing is way better than crying.

More Firsts: Pittsburgh Zoo

We interrupt the previously started vacation posts to bring you pictures from the zoo.

Sorting through the 1,000 pictures from the beach trip is proving to be more of a project than I have time for, so I thought I'd go ahead and skip ahead and post the pictures from our visit to the zoo on Thursday first.  

As some of you already know, the day started out a little rocky...bloody really....as I attempted to quickly open the stroller in the parking lot at the zoo by holding the side bars and flipping it up in the air so it snapped open.  Problem was that my thumb just happened to be right where the 2 side bars snap together, thereby crushing my thumb in between.  As to save you all from nausea and certain cringing, I will avoid posting the pictures that I snapped to send to Eric to have him help me ascertain whether or not I should be heading to the hospital.  Suffice it to say that I nearly passed out...and nearly threw up....broke out in a sweat and got the shakes.  Thankfully, after my sweet boy, Daniel, brought me the First Aid kit and said, "here you go, Mommy!", I was able to wrap a bunch of gauze around it, avoid looking at it, and make it through the zoo without moving it or touching anything.  About 9 hours later, when Eric got home from work, I went to MedExpress to have them clean it up and remove the dead skin -- mistakenly thinking that they'd numb it first!!! -- and discovered that I actually broke the bone in 2 places.  Super.

Anyway, the boys weren't affected much by my little stroller mishap, so they had a fun day at the zoo.  When Markos and Daniel talked about the zoo on the way and Daniel told him what animals they'd see, Markos said so many funny things.  He was concerned about the monkeys and rather or not they'd bite him.  I suspect that this was a concern because they actually do have monkeys in Ethiopia and Markos has told me before that they were mean.  When we talked about the elephants and how there was a baby, Markos smiled and said in the most adorable voice, "awww!  Can I hold him?".  I said no and Markos asked, "he's big?".  I said yes and Markos said, "he has big feet?".  I said yes and he further clarified, "he squish me?".    Yes, honey, the baby elephant would still squish you.   I asked Markos what animal he wanted to see the most at the zoo.  He said a cow.  He was disappointed that they weren't going to have cows at the zoo.  (mental note:  must plan trip to Round Hill Farm to see the cows)

No cows, but we saw the usual's at the zoo:

snow leopard, tigers, lions, komodo dragon, leopards, flamingos, elephants, antelopes, monkeys, bears, polar bears, sharks, beaver, otters, kangaroos, loads of different types of fish, deer, and sea lions.

Markos said his favorite animal was the zebras, but honestly, I didn't see any zebras.  He swears he did, though.  Daniel's favorite was the leopard who was sitting up against the glass in full, close-up view.  It WAS a beautiful cat.  HUGE feet with spots all the way down to his toes.  I was sad that my favorite - the penguins - weren't swimming and playing like usual.  They were all just standing around.  Daniel theorized that the water was too cold for them.  I didn't agree, but let it go.

It was a beautiful day - sunny and high 70's, maybe low 80's.  Nice breeze.  Not so hot that the monkey house smell smacked you in the face when you walked into the building.  That's always a plus!  We steered clear of the bat room though.  That's a smell that just isn't O.K....EVER!  Particularly not when your thumb is throbbing and you've already nearly vomited once that day.

We ate our packed lunches and the boys played in Kids' Kingdom on the slides for a while.  The deer in the deer yard did not come near the path so the boys didn't get to pet them.  However, the kangaroos were more playful than I've ever seen them.  Their legs reminded me of Lily.  That can't be a good sign.  The boys went in the petting area to see the goats and sheep.  Markos was afraid of them.  I was a little surprised by that.  He eventually followed Daniel's lead (as always) and touched the animals.  Then, the boys played in the water mister - longer than they should have -  and ended up soaking wet.  A few snacks in the car and a not-nearly-long-enough nap for Markos on the way home, and our first trip to the zoo was complete.  All in all a good day.

The boys with map in hand, ready to start out

Markos and Daniel watching the elephants

Watching the gorillas

Look at the size of that fish!

Markos sliding down the slide in Kids' Kingdom

Markos and Daniel sitting on the turtle

Checking out the camel

Daniel petting one of the goats

Playing in the mister

Watching for the sea lions

Posing by the giant praying mantis

King's Dominion, Part 2

After getting changed out of bathing suits and reapplying loads of sunscreen, we hit the pavement in search of rides that Markos was allowed to ride.  Unfortunately, he needs to grow about another 2 inches before he can really even ride the big rides that kids are allowed on with a parent.  However, there were several 'bigger' rides in the kiddie area that he rode with Mackenzie and Daniel.

Rarely am I willing to spend money on anything at amusement parks except food and drink, but with each child, it seems that I've splurged to purchase one picture of them on a ride that is just classic.  Markos was no exception.  This is his first ride on a roller coaster.  Not a huge coaster, but a fairly speedy one for little kids.  Hilarious! 

Markos first ride on a roller coaster

 What's even funnier is that because it was so dead in the park, most rides allowed us to just stay on if we wanted to ride them again.  Mackenzie and Daniel loved it and wanted to ride again, and so, he insisted that he liked it and wanted to ride again, too!  Until it started.  Then he started to cry and wanted off, crying the entire ride.  Sometimes his insistence on always getting exactly what the other 2 kids get works to his disadvantage!  (and no, I didn't splurge to buy the second picture.  It was much like the first, except with tears and Eric looking slightly annoyed.)

Markos and Daniel riding another kiddie coaster

Daniel and Markos riding the kiddie pirate ship

After Daniel rode several of the rides in the kiddie area with Markos that he was still short enough to ride, Eric took Daniel and Mackenzie out into the park to ride some of their favorites.  Markos and I spent a good bit of time in kiddie land, with him riding most rides a minimum of 3 times in a row.  OK, so being at an amusement park when it's 100 degrees does have SOME good perks!

He thought these cars were super cool because he could actually steer to some degree.

On the rare occasion where he had to wait for someone else to get on or off of a ride, this is how he waited.

Flying these planes was one of his favorites.  I think he rode about 10 times.

Also loved driving the trucks

We stayed until closing time.  I can't believe Markos never did fall asleep.  He was SO tired.  Poor thing.  By the time we returned the double stroller and I was carrying him to the van, he burst into tears.  I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I want to be home.  I'm tired.".  His sleeping at home is great, but he still has a hard time allowing himself to relax enough to settle down and go to sleep when we're out and about.

It was an amazing day - especially given the heat.  Our kids were all three troopers!  They rarely whined; they enjoyed themselves; they helped one another and got along; they didn't complain; and they even let me take pictures!  (that's a miracle in and of itself!)  It was some special Snoopy Spectacular or something like that when we were there, so we finished the night eating ice cream, while we watched fireworks and listened/watched the musical light show around the Eiffel tower.  And, as you can hear Daniel say at the end of the video, "that was SO COOL!".

More Firsts: First Vacation Stop - King's Dominion, Part 1

On Thursday, July 28th, we embarked on our first summer vacation as a family of 5. Eric had to work, so we waited and left around dinner time, driving just south of Doswell, VA to our hotel.  We thought that we were surely in for a miserable drive when, at our first bathroom stop, Eric accidentally slammed Mackenzie's fingers in the van door (like, REALLY slammed them in the door.  Like, had to open the door to get her fingers out!).  After a fearful scream of shock (Eric's!), many tears (Kenzie's), and much anxiety (mine), we were on our way again with ice packs from the cooler wrapped around Mackenzie's hand. Amazingly, aside from some bloody knuckles and minor swelling, her fingers didn't look too bad by the time we got to the hotel.  For several days, they continued to hurt her if she used them, but no dislocated joints or broken bones - thank goodness!!

We arrived at the hotel late. Much like kids on Christmas morning enjoying the boxes more than the gifts, Markos was super excited just to be at the hotel, ride in the elevator, and run around our suite. We could have saved a lot of money if we'd have just stayed at the hotel for a few days and then gone home. But alas, the other two children are not as easily amused, so after a fairly decent night's sleep, we headed out to King's Dominion Amusement Park early Friday morning.

At the gates at opening time

After making our way through the gates, for the first time ever, we all went to the top of the Eiffel Tower.  The worker explained all about the height of the tower, how much metal it took to build it, yada, yada...but again, the boys were just excited to ride up the elevator - especially when this one had glass walls that you could see out.  Personally, I was just happy that the elevator was air conditioned.  It was just after 10:00 AM and it was already HOT!  Weather forecast prediction was for temperatures to be around 100 degrees and sunny for the entire day.  Not the best amusement park weather, but at least it wasn't storming and at least there is a huge water park in King's Dominion.

The Eiffel Tower at King's Dominion

The view from the top of the Eiffel Tower

The Volcano - Eric's and my favorite ride at the park

After returning from the top of Eiffel Tower, we rode a few small rides that were right along the path to the water park, where we planned to get a locker and store our bags.  Poor Markos was so excited to ride something - anything! - and we couldn't find a ride nearby that he was tall enough to ride.  I rode some yucky, spinning ride with Daniel and Mackenzie.  Nothing like starting the super hot day in the park with a little nausea.  Then, we finally found a carousel that Markos could ride. 

I love you, Daniel.  You know this because I'm willing to ride this with you so that you are allowed to ride.

Markos on his first carousel ride

At this point, there were not many people at the park (smart people stay away on 100 degree days).  Our children have, at many times in the past, begged Eric and I to let them ride the Ferris wheel.  We usually say no.  We do this because we're smart we know that it takes FOREVER by the time you get on, wait for everyone else to get on, ride around for a little while, then wait for everyone else to get off so you can get off.  Yet, on this special day, we decided to say yes because it was a day of firsts...and we figured that it wouldn't take as long as normal because there was hardly anyone in line before or after us.   

the dreaded Ferris Wheel

And yet, when we boarded, the attendant informed us that this Ferris wheel was built in blah, blah, blah; the height of the Ferris wheel is yada, yada, yada; and YOUR RIDE WILL LAST APPROXIMATELY 12 MINUTES!

Ah, yes.  12 minutes slowing turning in the hot sun,
baking like a rotisserie chicken.  

12 minutes in a little hanging basket with 3 children ages 4, 7, & 14,
strapped closely together.

12 minutes where we start out looking like this:

But quickly look like this:

And finally end up looking like this:

Needless to say, the Stark family WILL NOT be riding the Ferris wheel EVER.AGAIN.  We attempted to explain to Mackenzie that someday (when she's 30) and she is dating some fine, young Christian man, that riding the Ferris wheel in the evening with the lights on, where they can sit and talk and gaze into one another's eyes, is a nice thing.  Aside from that, however, the Ferris wheel holds little value in the amusement park world.

After the Ferris wheel torture ride, we quickly made our way to the water park where we spent the next four hours staying under water as much as possible.  Seriously.  Not.Even.Kidding.  We all rode the lazy river - twice.  Eric and the older two did some of the water slides.  We all played in the wave pool, where we quickly realized that we would need to stop at a Target or Wal-Mart en route to the beach to buy a life jacket for Markos to wear at the beach because he was not afraid of the waves AT.ALL.  We played in the big splash house for a long time.  A boys' (and grown man's) dream come true - a place with cargo nets, bridges, slides, buckets of water, giant water guns, etc. where they can run and climb and engage in surprise attacks on unsuspecting people walking below.  Normally, I am mortified when Eric and Daniel dump water on strangers' heads, but at least on this particular day, it was so hot that no one cared.  In fact, it was welcomed.

Unfortunately, we do not own a waterproof camera.  So, on the one hand, we sadly have no photos from this period of the day.  On the other hand, thank goodness, we have no photos of me in my bathing suit from this period of the day.  

Afternoon in water park on 100 degree day 

+ no nap 

+ fear of complete and total meltdown by Markos 

= shelling out some bucks to rent this for the day!  

(best money spent - EVER!)

[Side note:  I was so delirious from the heat after I sprinted across the park to rent this thing, that as I read the sign while the guy asked me what I needed, I accidentally said, "a double wheelchair".   I think it might have been a Freudian slip of some nature.  At first, he looked at me strangely; but after I burst out laughing and said, "oh, I mean a double STROLLER!", he laughed and looked relieved as he said, "I was gonna say, I didn't know we had THOSE!".  He said he thought it was a good idea and that he might suggest it to management.  So, if you go to King's Dominion next year and see a double wheelchair, just know that it was my idea.]

The kiddos, dressed and ready to hit the regular part of the park after four hours in the water park.

...to be continued....