Haiti Trip - The Joy of the Lord

On September 1st, Mackenzie and I, along with our friend Chelle' and 16 other individuals from across the U.S. traveled with The Global Orphan Project to Haiti.  We spent 5 days around the Port-au-Prince area, visiting orphanages, playing with the kids, and learning about the awesome work that GOP is doing in Haiti.  I'll post more about that later.

Because I'm finding it nearly as overwhelming to sort through all my pictures and thoughts about the trip as it was being there, I decided to just get started sharing a few things that touched me while I was there.

Today, lets talk about "Trading My Sorrows".  Yes, the song.  You might sing it in church.  You might listen to it in your car.  Maybe you're like my hubby and you play it on the guitar with the praise team at church.  But, how many of us really live it?  How often do we really choose joy?

We drove through the streets of Port-au-Prince and destruction was seen everywhere.  Over a year after the earthquake. Yet these things remain:  Tent cities.  Shanty areas.  Rubble.  Trash.  Smoldering fires.  Stench.  Ashes.  Poverty.  Pain.  We spent hours with children who had lost everything.  Homes destroyed.  Parents dead.  Siblings gone.  Nothing to call their own.

Amazingly, do you know what else we saw?  Beauty.  Love.  Smiles.  Joy.  Hope.  We heard laughter and singing.  We watched dancing and playing and rejoicing.

One of the men on our trip took some drums with him when we visited the orphanages.  The older boys especially loved playing them.  Over and over, at each orphanage, the drum beats would start.  Some kids would dance.  Some would sing.  They'd sing praise songs.  They'd sing "Trading My Sorrows".  

i am pressed but not crushed

persecuted, not abandoned 

struck down, but not destroyed 

i am blessed beyond the curse, 

for His promise will endure 

and His joy's gonna be my strength 

Again and again, as I listened to them sing, my heart was pierced.  Haitian orphans, amidst the rubble and loss, choosing joy.  And me, a blessed American with everything I could possibly ever want or need often not choosing it.

 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,

And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Psalm 51:12

Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes, Yes, Lord.

 Pictures to contrast the destruction with the beauty and joy!

Trading My Sorrows 

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

We say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted but not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

September 11th

10 years ago on this day, Americans crowded around TVs across this nation - scared, crying, mourning, and angry.

Terrorist attacks.

Senseless violence.  

Devastating destruction.  

Lives Lost.

But 8 years ago on this day, for our family, the sad memories and memorial services were overshadowed by the birth of our first boy.

Big and healthy baby boy.

Uncomplicated delivery.

Overjoyed mommy & daddy.

Sweet "big sister".

Having a boy has been challenging and exhausting, but also a lot of fun and filled with laughter.  Boys really ARE different - and not just anatomically!  ;-)  Daniel has taught this up-tight, obsessive-compulsive, perfectionistic Momma to relax (a little) and enjoy life more.  Frankly, he gave me little  choice in the matter.  It was that or lose my mind.  I used to laugh with my friend Karen that it was a good thing that I scrapbooked because at least when he destroyed things and made awful messes, I could say, "Oh well, this will make a cute page in his book" while I snapped a few pictures.  There are a lot a pictures.

Happy birthday, Daniel!

Sweet baby boy

Playing the part of the baby Jesus

Uh oh!  Learning to walk

Into EVERYTHING!

What?

Wild

Silly

Messy

Really, really messy!

But so stinkin' cute!

Really, really cute!

fun-loving

Daredevil

Sweet boy

Daniel was so excited to wake on his birthday today to go to his first ice hockey game with SHAHA.  He got his official jerseys with his name and the number that he chose -- #93.  And, he scored 3 goals! What a great way to celebrate!

Daniel & his buddy Luke

Daniel and Luke wearing their new jerseys

 

Daniel playing center

8 years old!  And still cute enough to get away with a lot of stuff!

Guess Who's 5?!

Markos is!!

That sweet little boy whom we were told "was so very tiny" when he arrived at the care center in Addis is growing bigger, stronger, smarter, and getting older! Today, he is celebrating his 5th birthday!

Happy birthday, Markos!!

17 years ago today....

I married my best friend!

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

It's a Shower! And You're Invited!!

In honor of my friend, Shonda @ Godwilladd, who will soon be embarking upon a trip to Ethiopia to adopt the older biological brother (MB) of her already adopted Ethiopian son (Taz), I invite you all to join me as we celebrate her "baby shower" by spreading a little love to those in Ethiopia affected by the famine!  Markos and his family are from the area where FOVC is serving.  Please consider helping out even if it's just a small gift.  Every little bit helps!

Here's Shonda to tell you all about it: 

*****

Hi friends,

This is Shonda from Godwilladd.  Lori has kindly let me take over her blog to tell you about an awesome Baby Shower like none other.  A couple of my friends have teamed up and we're trying to raise funds for an organization called FOVC.  They help provide aid and hope to the immediate areas where our kiddos are from, an area that has been hit hard by this horrible famine.

Shameless plug:  Will you hop on over to my shower?  I promise I won't make you smell mystery diapers and  no I won't let you wrap toilet paper around my abdomen.

For $13 FOVC can feed one starving child for one month.  So far, this shower has raised $710.  If you're amazing at math like myself, you know that 54 kids who didn't have food today, will have food tomorrow and for the next month because of the generosity of a select few.  Wow!  Can we make it 100 kids?  Will you please help me spread the word? 

Why? 

Of all the great charities out there, why have I chose to rally behind FOVC?  A few simple reasons:

1) There are a lot of other great charities that are working to fight this famine, and I (despite my cynicism of big organizations) have supported them.  But FOVC is the only NGO working directly in the areas my boys are from, and where their first families still live.  Even if I liked nothing else about FOVC, this one simple fact would make me want to support them.  Thankfully, there are lots of other things I like about them:

2) They are a very small grassroots organization and very conservative with their money.  All their workers are volunteers, and they do all their traveling on their own dime, which means all the money we give goes directly to feeding the kids and helping their community fight poverty with long-term goals in mind.

3) I have a close friend who has done aid work with them in Ethiopia (and is on her way back in a few weeks), knows many personal details about how they operate and spend their money.  She's a Dave Ramsey fiscal conservative like myself, and she fully endorses them.  They have an independent bookkeeper who verifies that over 96% of the funds go directly to Ethiopia.

4) Directly from the president of FOVC:  "We have an amazing team of volunteers! Our board members and officers (if I do say so myself) are doing outstanding work! We spend a lot of time and effort educating ourselves on best practices of economic development (it's what my husband does!) and strive to implement every program using best practices. This means we empower, not enable. Every effort we undertake is aimed at offering long-term sustainability, success...and HOPE

Have I convinced you they're great?
Click here and support them:

And then (this part is optional), click here and tell MB how excited you are about his arrival into our family.

Second Vacation Stop: Sandbridge Beach - Confessions & Disclaimer

I have to be honest.  I have been procrastinating writing about our summer vacation this year.  Although I had a nice time and I was happy that my family had a great time, somehow just posting all the great pictures won't show what I was really feeling in my heart.  The pictures show happy, laughing kids having a fantastic time.  You'd think it was all relaxation and peace and joy.  For example:

 See?  You hear the waves lapping the shore, the seagulls crying for food, the children laughing and screeching as they ride the waves to the shore or dig in the sand.  Right?   Were I to just post the pictures, you'd probably think I also had a wonderful, fun-filled vacation.  But the truth is, I didn't.

I'm sure many of you know that older child adoption isn't all rainbows and roses.  Perhaps my posts until now have made it seem like it is easy.  But the truth is that it's hard.  Not just the sleeping, eating, and insecurity issues, but also the abrupt change in your family dynamics, the huge changes that your other children endure, and the changes in your normal routines and activities.  Not to mention just going from having 2 children to having 3 children!  Definitely not peaceful, quiet, relaxing family time.  Maybe more frequently like the rough seas that we encountered on our last day on the beach.

Sometimes, it's like one wave after another wave after another wave with no end in sight.  No time to catch your breath.  No time to rest.  No time to relax.  No time to refuel.

Sometimes, it's just one big wave that knocks you flat on your face and leaves you with bruises and scrapes that take time to heal.

Leading up to this vacation, I was starting to dread going.  So many firsts.  Firsts are sometimes great -- first time on a roller coaster, first time in the swimming pool.  But other firsts are not so great -- first time on an extremely long car ride, first time staying for an extended period with a bunch of other people.  I knew this vacation was going to be hard and yet I was still surprised by how it hit me.  My anxiety was through the roof the entire week.  I had no patience at all.  I worried constantly about what everyone would think about Markos and how Markos would react to everything.  I worried about feeling like we HAD to make sure that Markos' first trip to the beach was a memorable, amazing, incredible trip.  Mostly, I felt like I had a ton of bricks weighing on my shoulders because I had to be the one to provide it. 

It was hard.  It was not as much fun as it normally is.  I cried on the deck, in our bedroom, and on the beach.  I was angry.  I was short-tempered.  I was exhausted.  I was frustrated.  My family pitched in to help after a while.  They saw that I was struggling...and that I was sad.  Here's the thing though.  It was mostly of my own making.  Sure, Markos sought attention far more than he normally does.  Sure, the sibling rivalry was far worse than it is at home.  Sure, Markos is a master instigator and knows how to push buttons like nobodies' business.  But really, I worried too much.  I put more stress on myself than I needed.  I failed to communicate with Eric.  And I wasn't praying enough or being diligent enough with doing my devotions.  

About halfway through the week, after a small meltdown (mine!), I finally realized that I hadn't been praying or doing devotions in the morning, that I could not do this parenting three children thing on my own (uh, DUH!), and that I had to start taking better care of myself if I wanted this to work.  I started praying each morning while we were there and reading my devotional book before leaving my room.  And, it actually worked (uh, DUH, of course it did!).  Without anyone knowing that I had made this focused effort to get back to starting my day with God, comments were made like, "you didn't even smile until Thursday", "the second half of the week, you seemed a lot better".  So, it wasn't just me.  Others noticed a difference in me as well.  

The vacation brought about a needed change in me, even if it wasn't the wonderful vacation for me that it was for my kids or the rest of the family.  I came home reminded that I need more of God and less of me.  I came home with a determination that I will be going to play tennis on Monday nights and Friday mornings because I need that time and exercise, for me AND for our family.   I came home and made the decision that I have to be better about going to bed on time.  Oh yes, and starting back on anxiety medication after returning home has helped tremendously, too.  

There.  With my little disclaimer for all those other adoptive mommas out there who are struggling, to not be deceived by my children's huge smiles and happy faces in the beach pictures to follow, I now feel better about posting vacation pictures soon!  And I rejoice in the Truth of God's Word when it says things like:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23

Falling Apart, but Still Laughing

Our whole family is falling apart.  My thumb is smashed and broken in two places.  Daniel was at MedExpress yesterday for a bug bite gone bad.  Diagnosis - Staph infection.  Now today, Eric finally broke down and went to have his leg checked.  He's been hobbling around since our vacation when he hurt his calf muscle playing lacrosse on the beach.  His attitude until today was "I am not letting my body win this one."  Well, after today, score 1 for the aging body; 0 for Eric.  Diagnosis - most likely torn calf muscle, rule out blood clot.  So, he came home on crutches and will be having an ultrasound soon and then an appointment with the Orthopedic doctor.  (mental note:  should just add their # to the speed dial).

For those of you who have known our family for long, you know that this is nothing new.  Eric has had more than his share of injuries.  But, for Markos, this was apparently totally new....and hilarious!  

The second Eric walked hobbled came in the door, Markos' eyes lit up and he got a huge smile on his face as he exclaimed, "what's that?!".  I laughed and asked, "what do you think they are?".  He said he knew, so I continued to prod, "well, what are they?".

He laughed and shouted, "fake feet!"

Eric kinda chuckled, but did not find it all nearly as funny as I did.  (Apparently SOMEONE needs more pain medication!)  

However, even he had to laugh after he continued on his way to the dining room table and Markos, still watching with excited interest, burst out with, "HA HA HA!!  You're SWINGING!!". 

Hee hee.  And he kinda was.  

Glad Markos finds it all very funny and interesting.  His reaction certainly made it more entertaining for me.  And laughing is way better than crying.