Court Trip - Post 4 - Meeting our Babes & Celebrating

After our sightseeing on Sunday morning, we returned to the guest house for some lunch - yummy little pizzas...lots of pizzas - and anxiously awaited the Holt driver picking us up for orientation and our first meeting with our children. He arrived around 2:15 or 2:30 and we all piled into the van. Our first stop was the Holt offices for orientation and a meeting with our attorney to prepare us for court.



We were introduced to some of the people at Holt Ethiopia (whose names I don't have handy & can't remember). We were given the do's and don'ts of meeting with our children. Do take all the pictures that you want of your own child. Do NOT take any photos of anyone else's children. (darn) We also sat through a short presentation by Holt's legal advisor. He gave us the run down of the do's and don'ts of court. He also gave us 2 pages of possible questions that we needed to be prepared to answer, and then 2 of the ladies from Holt went around and quizzed each family on the one page. (oh, the pressure!) ;-) Because it was a Sunday, and most of the staff were off work, we did not tour the Holt offices at this time. We got to get back into the vans and drive off to Care Center 2 -- the infant & younger children's care center next to the Union Hotel. When we were first told this is where we were going, I asked if they had brought Markos to CC2 for our meeting, or if they'd be taking us to CC3 -- the preschool care center. The lady from Holt informed me that I was mistaken and that Markos was at CC2. Eric and I were a little worried, because we knew that he had previously NOT been at CC2, so we thought he was moved again and the fewer transitions, the better for the kids.

Care Center 2, by the Union:


The inside of the gate at CC2:


The play area off the main lobby inside CC2:


The stairway inside CC2 where the nannies bring the kids down to meet their new families:


Upon arriving at CC2, the lady from Holt talked with the head nanny who was there at the time and discovered that we were correct and that Markos was not, in fact, at CC2. So, she called for a driver to take us to CC3. While we waited, we have the privilege of seeing all the other families unite with their kiddos for the first time. What a beautiful thing to witness! Only a few tears (from the children), many more tears from the parents! Of course, as we are not allowed to post pictures of our own kids, we also aren't allowed to post pictures of others kids, so no pictures to show you. Since Eric and I didn't have Markos yet, he was able to videotape the whole thing for the other families so that was nice. Such sweet, sweet unions.

Mariah & Brian were the only ones picking up an infant, but were still caught off-guard when the nannies just brought their little one down without any warning and he was wearing a purple sleeper.

Kendra & Dic united with their 2 year old little girl. Daddy's girl ran from the nanny and threw her arms around Dic who was trying to videotape while Kendra sat by and fought back the tears, patiently waiting for her turn to give her little girl a squeeze.

Stephanie & Mike were adopting 2 year old twin boys who had some super big smiles when they were handed some little wooden cars.

Amanda & Justin were also adopting siblings -- a 2 year old boy and a 3 year old girl -- who both ran from the nanny and threw their arms around them. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

Heather & Tyler were adopting a toddler aged boy. He was darling - just taking everything in - very relaxed and sweet.

And, Jolie was adopting a little girl. She was the serious, thinker of the kids. She wasn't upset and didn't seem scared, she was just serious. She sat and stared for some time, just checking Jolie out. Very funny to watch.

Then, they told Eric and I it was time to go meet Markos, so we headed off to CC3. I posted a few "teaser pics" and shared a little about our meeting here, but can't post anymore pics, unfortunately.

He was really adorable. A little shy when we first met up with him in the court yard area, but he warmed up quickly inside the room where we were playing. He loved the car we gave him and played with it almost the entire time (or at least, ran around with it in his hand while he played with the balls & balloons). He was allowed to choose a friend to come and join us, so the 4 of us played for a few hours. It was a lot of fun. He is extremely curious & independent. He is an awesome kicker. After watching some of our videos, my dad was joking that the Steelers could really use him. There is just so much to tell, that I don't know where to begin really.

He laughed and talked to his friend, but he didn't talk to us at all. He did seem to understand English a good bit, but we never heard him speak it. His friend, on the other hand, seemed to know a fair amount. In fact, his friend was so adorable and excited for Markos, that everytime someone would walk by the windows, he'd yell out, "Markos America!". When the nannies would walk by and would see us with him and knew that we were his family, they would poke their heads in and congratulate him, kiss him, and hug him. The love between the nannies and the kids was so very obvious and beautiful.

They brought Markos' favorite nanny in to talk to us and answer any questions that we had. We also met with the pediatrician for a short time. We discovered that Markos had pneumonia a few months ago, but he's finished the treatments now and is fully recovered. Aside from that, he is very healthy.

After a few short hours, the Holt lady peeked her head in and told us it was time to go. She took Markos outside and talked to him. She explained that we were his family and that we were going to take him to America, but that we couldn't take him yet, that we still had to do some paperwork and that we would come back to take him later. I hope he understood.

We returned to the guest house and all quickly freshened up (or spent some time crying tears of joy alone in our rooms...), and then we had the driver for the guest house take five of the couples who were there to dinner at an Ethiopian Restaurant to celebrate. We went to a place called Yad Abyssinian.

We laughed because we had to go through some security to get into the restaurant, having our purses checked, etc. This was funny because to get into Ethiopia through customs and such, we weren't asked a single question. Regardless, it was a lot of fun. We ordered the sampler platter (I forget what they called it), and of course, some of the guys just HAD to try the goat so we got some of it, too.

Stephanie & Mike having their hands washed before our meal.


Dinner is served:


And, here's the goat:


Justin, Amanda, Heather & Tyler:


Brian, Mariah, me & Eric:


We aren't really sure what that was that Eric ate (yep, don't know why Eric got sick...):


The entire time we ate, there were traditional Ethiopian singers and dancers on the stage in the middle of the restaurant. At one point, I recognized the music from a previous Holt families' videos and knew it was a dance where the dancers come out into the audience & pull audience members to come up on stage and dance with them. Of course, I was shrinking back in my seat (and thankful I was back in the back, near the corner!). Eric thought he'd be funny and he had his hand over Mariah's head, pointing for the dancer to pick her. Instead the dancer came and tried to get Brian to do some weird shoulder dancing thing. He tried, but it just made the dancer (and the rest of us) laugh. I have it on video, but will spare Brian the humiliation. (you can thank me later, Brian)



All in all, it was a wonderful, emotional, exhausting day. I don't think too many of us had a hard time falling asleep after we returned to the guest house and hopped online for a few minutes (when the computers would work). Tomorrow morning, COURT!

Court Trip - Post 3 - Coffee, Churches, and Overwhelming Need

Once we discovered that Holt would not be picking us up until 2:00 pm, we made arrangements with the guest house staff for them to take us to do some sightseeing. After we ate breakfast, we gathered in the lobby for an authentic coffee ceremony that the guest house had prepared for us. In Ethiopia, women prepare coffee for their husbands anywhere from 1 - 3 times a day. As part of a traditional coffee ceremony, they take green coffee beans and roast them over a small fire.

Once the beans are roasted, they walk around and allow people to smell the freshly roasted beans.


Then, they grind the beans and add them to a pot of heating water. When the coffee is finished, each person is served a small cup of coffee to enjoy together. We only had one cup; however, some traditions call for a total of 3 cups to be served.



After we finished the delightful coffee ceremony and played soccer with the neighborhood boys, we all loaded into the van and set out through the streets of Addis. We passed the runners who were all participating in "The Great Ethiopian Run" - the largest 10 K held in Africa.



As we drove to the top of Mt. Entoto, the side of every street was lined with beggars and people living on the streets, with adolescent boys working as shoe shines, and piles of trash.





There were animals walking along the roads and shanty-like "houses" on every spare piece of land.




We wound higher and higher up to the top of the mountain. Our van seemed to barely make it higher and higher up the steep, winding road, and yet there were people walking the steep incline carrying their yellow water bottles to get water for their families.

At the top, we visited a museum which contained Emperor Menilik and Empress Tutu's royal clothes, Bibles, drums, and other historical items from when the capital of Addis Ababa was first organized as a city.


We also saw the very first church that was built on the site by the Emperor, as well as the current St. Mary's Church.




We toured the Emperor's Palace from 1883. It was amazing given the time when it was built. My favorite part was the horns protruding from the walls of the dining room that were meant for hanging meat!

Eric and I at the overlook area on the grounds

I was smiling on the outside, but my heart was breaking on the inside. You see, after we toured the museum, Kendra and I were walking up the hill to the church and 3 little girls had approached us. They kept begging, "pen", "pen", "please, pen". We weren't sure if they were asking for a pen or if that was Amharic for something else.

Without thinking, I opened my purse and pulled out my pen. Their faces lit up. "Pen!" "Pen!" they cheered as their little hands darted out for the pen. I handed the first girl my pen and the other 2 kept begging, "pen", "pen". Kendra handed one of the other girls her pen, but we had no other pens. The third girl looked devastated. "Pen", "Pen", she begged.

"We don't have anymore", we apologized. Devastation on her face. "Can you share?", Kendra asked. Heartbreak.

I failed to notice the growing crowd behind the 3 girls as we watched her sad little face. In an effort to give her something, I pulled a pack of crackers from my purse. Her face lit up. Then the other two girls' hands darted out. "Hungry", "food", "hungry". I handed them each something, then noticed hands shooting in from everywhere. Children, women with tiny babies, elderly women. "Food", "hungry", "food", "please", they all begged. I handed out the granola bars and crackers that I had as fast as I could, but I ran out long before the outstretched hands were gone. Our driver saw the commotion and came to our rescue.

But, as the crowd dispersed, I saw a little girl, about 7 or 8 years old. She was standing back from the crowd. She had her little brother on her back. He looked to be about 2 or 3 years old. Her eyes were sad and pleading. She was dirty and alone with her brother. Her little hand was held tentatively out a little at her side. "Please, food", she mouthed. Fighting the tears, I mouthed, "I'm so sorry. I don't have any more." "Please, food", she begged. "I can't," I said, "I'm so sorry." She followed us for a while. She hung back a few feet behind us, but when our eyes would meet, she would plead as she moved her hand out a little and mouthed, "please, food".

I walked up the hill with the others, and as I attempted to zip my purse back up, I noticed 2 nutri-grain bars in the bottom of my purse. It took every bit of strength that I had not to go back and give them to the little girl, but I couldn't. I had already disregarded the warning about giving out food or money to beggars in public, thereby causing a near riot. I felt guilty for involving our driver and didn't want to create any more problems, yet my insides were ripping apart. It was all I could do not to completely lose it and burst into tears. I literally hurt inside. That little girl, caring for her baby brother. She was starving and alone. A little girl who should have been playing and attending school. Instead, she was caring for her brother and begging for food for the two of them to survive. But the worst part was, I HAD SOME right there in my purse and couldn't give it to them. My small contribution couldn't begin to touch the overwhelming need. It was one of the saddest moments of the entire trip for me. Their little faces still haunt me. The desperate, pleading little girl and her brother. The girls faces lighting up over a pen. A cheap pen that I probably have hundreds of laying around my house. Not even a fancy pen. Just one of those free pens from the bank or the insurance agent, and their eyes lit up. Like we had given them a pony or something.

I know it sounds stupid, but the heaviness in my heart was lightened just a little bit later that night when I found out that one of the guys in our travel group had slipped the 3rd girl a pen during the chaos.

We are so blessed. There is so much need around the world. One person can't fix it, but together we all can help.

Court Trip - Post 2 - In the Morning Light

I suspect that when many of you looked at our pictures of the inside of the guest house yesterday, you thought -- "well, THAT doesn't look bad!". And, you're right. It wasn't. It was beautiful. But, it was a guest house for visitors. These, on the other hand, are the views out our windows when we awoke the next morning.

Looking out our bedroom window toward the back/side of the guest house

One of the women who lived there was doing laundry by hand

Looking off the side of the balcony of the family room

One of the women who lived there was drying all kinds of peppers and other veggies in the sun on sheets of corregated tin.

(God, forgive me for whining and complaining when I have to walk down the stairs and throw clothes in the washer, add detergent, and turn on the machine. I could have to walk for miles, carrying a large jug of water every day, wash the clothes by hand, and hang them out to dry in the dirty, dusty air. Forgive me for whining and complaining when I have to open a can of veggies and toss them in the microwave. I could have to grow them myself, dry them in the sun in order to save them, and then cook them over an open fire made from fire wood that I have to collect myself.)

Looking off the family room balcony toward the front/side of the guest house

As the time grew a little later (we were up early!), more and more people were out walking around the alley by the guest house. These boys were playing soccer. They were wearing worn out flip flops and other sandals and playing with a beat up, half flat ball. We had taken some new soccer balls with us to donate to Holt and AHOPE so we got one and headed out to play with the neighborhood boys.







The boys were surprisingly good. They laughed at Eric when he TWICE let the ball roll into "hazards" that we don't have to deal with in the United States on a soccer field. First, he let the ball roll (and then he nearly stepped into) a giant dung pile from the animals.

Second, he let it roll to the other side of the street where it landed in an open sewer drainage ditch. Excited to have a new ball, one of the little boys jumped right down into it despite the women around yelling at him, but thankfully, sweet Workineh from the guest house took it and washed it at the guest house for us after that. At that point, it was time for us to leave, so Eric gave the ball to one of the boys to keep and I gave them all snacks that I had in my purse - just little individual sized packs of granola. We know that they will all share the ball and play together, because that's how they are. Loving, community-oriented, and kind. There is no me-centeredness in Ethiopia like there is in the U.S. It's a beautiful thing! And, these boys were sweet, beautiful boys who deserve so much more than a new soccer ball and a pack of granola!

Court Trip - Post 1 - Leaving on a Jet Plane

We had been waiting for this day for a LOOONG time, and finally it had arrived! Our departure date! The day we'd be leaving to head to Ethiopia to meet our new son.

My parents arrived Thursday evening around 8:00. Daniel was at ice hockey practice with Eric while I finished up last minute packing & list-making. Meals were prepared and in the freezer for the kids while we were gone. Emergency numbers were compiled and amongst the other papers containing schedules, directions to the various hockey rinks where Daniel had games while we were gone, and medication, doctors, and insurance information. We were as ready as we were going to be.

Friday morning, we awoke early and left for the airport before anyone else was awake. We had 4 large suitcases packed to the maximum weight - all containing donations for AHOPE and Holt. Then, we each had a personal carry-on item and another small carry-on which contained all of our clothes and stuff for our trip. Good thing we were only staying in Ethiopia for 2 days total!

At the airport in Pittsburgh, things went very smoothly and we were happy to discover that once we had successfully managed to haul our luggage to the check-in point in Pittsburgh, we did not have to retrieve it again until we landed in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia! Yay! Somehow 50 lbs. in a suitcase seems a lot heavier than picking up a 50 lb. child.

Our first flight went very smoothly and we landed in Toronto an hour and 1/2 later. Then we had a few hours lay-over before boarding another flight to Frankfort Germany. Aside from having to sit on the tarmac for close to 30 minutes to wait for the crew to dig through the luggage to find someone's bags that had to be pulled from the plane, it also went off without a hitch. Despite the length of sitting on the flights, my back held up amazingly well. Again, in Frankfort, we had a few hours lay-over, but we just got something to eat and sat around, trying to rest before our final flight.



Finally! It was time for our last flight to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia! We're coming, Markos! We boarded our final flight from outside due to construction in the Frankfort airport. That was a little strange, but I didn't care as long as we got there ASAP.



Although we were exhausted by this point, adrenaline, anxiety, and excitement kept us going. Not to mention, with views like these, who could sleep?!



When we were ready to land in Ethiopia, the pilot announced that there was a backlog of flights waiting to land and so we would have to circle for a while before we could land. Yuck. We circled for about 20 minutes, before we finally landed at 9:35 pm, Saturday night.

Once in the airport, we anxiously made our way through customs (which could not have been easier!) Neither of us was asked a single question. Then, we happily retrieved all 4 of our bags from baggage claim and exchanged our U.S. dollars for Ethiopian burr. We exchanged $400 U.S. and received a huge pile of Ethiopian burr -- 6,587.84. The exchange rate is $1 to 16.4696 burr. You know how you see those commercials asking for your donations and they claim that you can feed a child for only $1 a day? Well, it really IS true and that is why! Our money goes a long way over there!!

We walked outside the baggage area and there was a large crowd waiting outside. Almost immediately, we saw our driver holding the "Holt International" sign. Then, we saw the others in our travel group who had also just arrived. At this point, Mariah and Brian from South Dakota, Stephanie and Mike from Vermont, Heather and Tyler from Oregon, Amanda and Justin from Oregon, and Eric and I were there. We waited and waited for Kendra and Dic (also from South Dakota) but they were stuck in an unusually long visa line, so our driver decided to take us to the guest house and come back for them later. The rest of us had gotten our visas through the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington, DC before we left the states.

We quickly realized, after loading all the luggage and all the people into two vans, what the other families meant went they warned us about the roads and the driving there. It is controlled insanity. The roads are awful; and there are few, if any, traffic laws, signs, or stop lights. It was dark when we arrived, so we couldn't see much, but as we turned and began driving out of the airport, I looked out the window to see a man walking down the sidewalk with a machine gun strapped on his chest. Hmmm. "Now, there's something we don't see in the U.S.", I thought.

The guest house was not far from the airport, although it WAS definitely tucked away off the road. We eventually figured out that this was the sign that marked the turn for us:



The Jemimah Guest House (pronounced Gem-e-mah, not Jemimah like the syrup!) was surrounded by a large, gated wall. There were guards working the gate all the time. Each time we approached, the van honked the horn and they opened the gate so we could get in. The staff working the desk were extremely friendly and helpful, as were the drivers. They always insisted on helping with your bags and helping you carry things to your room -- not because they wanted tips, just because that is how the Ethiopian people are. Very caring, very helpful, very service-oriented.

There was a family room off the lobby, and another family room on the first floor. Our bedroom was very simple, but very beautiful. Our bathroom was also very nice. It had only a stand-up shower, but it was very nice and clean. We were thankful that our room was only up one flight of stairs because Addis is at almost 8000 feet above sea level -- a very high altitude -- so just climbing one set of stairs nearly killed each of us. Our hearts would be beating out of our chests and we'd be completely out of breath. Tidbit for those who like trivia: This is why so many Ethiopians are good long distance runners! Their bodies get very good at processing oxygen due to the altitude! Ours, not so much. ;-)

We explored the guest house a little, tried (unsuccessfully) to get the internet in the upstairs family room to work, talked with the other families a little, then went to our rooms to unpack a little and crash in bed, anxiously awaiting our orientation and trip to the care center to meet Markos for the first time!

Our room

Our bathroom

The upstairs family room

The other side of the upstairs family room

Tomorrow, we meet Markos!!! Oh happy day!

"Markos is yours"

We are home, and now a family of 5. Our trip was absolutely amazing. It is so very hard to put everything into words. And, frankly, I am still so tired that I am not even going to try right now. Over the next few weeks, I will blog about our trip in detail, but for now, I will just say it was truly life-changing.

Markos was absolutely darling. He is a tiny little thing, full of personality with a little touch of ornery that we got to see. He is very curious, very active, very athletic, and reminds us a great deal of Daniel. Those two working together might spell trouble! ;-) We were able to spend about 3 hours with him the first day and an hour the second day. We had a great time playing together. We gave him a little car that talks when you push the light on the top and he absolutely loved it. When we arrived the second day, he ran to me and gave me a big hug (** heart melting **) then he smiled really big and said, "machina?" ("car" in Amharic) hee hee. So, I'm not sure if he was happy to see us or just happy to get his car back, but either way, we were happy!

I know you are all dying to see pictures (and believe me, I'm dying to share them), but our agency is very conservative and asks that we not share them on public forums until we travel to pick him up. But, copying the ideas of some of our creative adoption friends, we took this one to share with you now.



We gave Markos a bracelet and Eric and I each had one. We all put them on together at the care center and will wear them until he comes home. Mine says "Faith". Eric's says "Dream" and Markos' says "Courage". I was glad we had them because when Markos noticed my watch and was pushing all the buttons on it and then tried to take it off of me, I was able to say, "oh wait, I have something for you". (and keep my watch!)

Our travel group was AWESOME! We so very much hope that we get to travel again with the same group of families. We had a lot of fun getting to know some of my online buddies in person and getting to meet their husbands. There is something special about getting to share something like this with others. Here is one of the pictures our driver took for us when we were visiting St. Mary's Church, built in 1885, on top of Mt. Entoto.



We were able to give him the family album that I made for him. He was so darling as he looked through it. He had a very proud little smile as we looked through, and when we finished looking, he jumped up to play, but tucked the album under his arm and tried to play while holding it. When he realized that would be too hard, he went over and hid the book under the TV stand shelf. Then occasionally, he would go over, get it out, sit against the wall and look at a few pages, then hide it back under the shelf and play some more. He would also slam the door shut anytime someone would leave it open, as if to say "stay out - mine".



The nannies were wonderful and when each would see him in with us, they knew we were his family. They would come and stick their heads in and congratulate him, shake his little hand & kiss him on both cheeks and hug him. His little friend who was able to come and play with us the first day was equally thrilled for Markos. He would actually yell and tell anyone who came near the door, "Markos America!". So heart-warming to see a child be so genuinely happy and thrilled for another child.

Lastly, of course, as you have figured by now, we passed court. It was unbelievably fast. In fact, we were the last family to go in to the judges chambers and one of the other families timed us. We were in the room for 72 seconds, at the end of which, the judge proclaimed, "Markos is yours."

Praise God!

Can Hardly Believe It!

Oh. My. Goodness. I can hardly believe that the time has finally come. Early Friday morning, we are leaving to go meet M. and go to court to legally become his parents. This has been such a long process, yet, now it seems like...."WOW! Seriously?! We're really doing this?!"

In my normal, neurotic fashion, I have been preparing for this trip for weeks...err, months. And yet, now I feel panicked and certain that I've forgotten something terribly important. Not to mention that I am not a fan of traveling. I'm not afraid to fly, per se. I just hate the rushing, hate the connections, hate the crowds, hate the security checks and the customs procedures. And, honestly, hate everything being out of my control. (Yes, I know, silly to even think that I'm EVER in control - God's been working on me about that for years.)

Anyway....

Please pray for us during our trip. It will truly be a whirlwind of a trip -- exhausting physically and emotionally. Please pray:

• Thursday, Nov. 18th - for my parent’s safety as they travel to our house to watch the kids.
• Friday, Nov. 19th- for our flights - that we make our connections, that my back holds up during 24 hours of traveling, and that we make it through customs without problem with all the donations that we have for the orphanages
• Saturday, Nov. 20th - that we arrive safely in Addis Ababa, ET (and that our bags ALSO make it to ET), that our transport is waiting for us, and that we make it safely to the guest house
• Sunday, Nov. 21st in AM - THE DAY!! We meet M.! Please pray for his comfort - that he would not be afraid, that we will react in a way that is not frightening to him (hey, it could happen!) ;-) - and that we would all be able to soak in and enjoy every moment of this blessed few hours that we will have together!
• Sunday, Nov. 21st in PM- that our meeting with M.'s pediatrician goes well, that we remember to ask any questions that we should, and that we gather all information that we need; Also that our meeting with the attorney goes well, that we, again, get all information that is needed for a successful day in court!
• Monday, Nov. 22nd in AM- COURT!! that I am not a complete bundle of nerves, that we speak from the heart but don't say anything that might jeopardize our adoption, and that the judge grants us favor
• Monday, Nov. 22nd in PM- that our final meeting with M. will again be comforting to him, that he will understand that we WILL be coming back for him, and that we can go through the family album that we made him before we leave so that he will have something to hold onto until we come back to get him
• Monday, Nov. 22nd, late - that our flights home are, again, safe and smooth

BTW, Ethiopia is about 8 hours ahead of EST, so we will actually be going to court around 1 - 2 AM your time Monday morning.

Also, please pray for:

• our health - that we wouldn’t get sick while in ET, that Eric’s allergies aren’t horrible there, that my back doesn’t flare up, and that we are able to get some sleep during the time we're traveling and in ET
  
• our kids back home - that they would not be nervous & worrying about us, that they have fun and have all their needs met, that they are well-behaved and don’t give Grammy and Pappy a hard time! (not that they’d EVER do THAT!) ;-)
• Grammy & Pappy - that they’d have the energy to keep up with the kids and their schedules, that they have fun and enjoy the time with, and that they also have peace and don't worry about Eric and I
• our paperwork - that everything is in order, that we have everything we need, and that the people who are handling our adoption case do so with speed and accuracy!!
  

Thank you all so very much for praying for our family during this time. We are so excited, nervous, thrilled, awe-struck, amazed, afraid, humbled.....the waves of emotion go on and on!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Sadness & Single digits

Single digits first --- we leave for our first trip in 9 days!!!!

Yesterday, we received a few updates from our agency. First, we received a medical and a developmental update. The medical update was pretty sparse and was fairly unremarkable. Didn't have an updated weight which is always one of the more meaningful pieces of information to me -- is he gaining weight? But, there were no treatments listed which means that he is healthy and not receiving any medications so that's good news.

The development assessment was more telling. Because M. had a birthday since our last report, he now receives a 4 - 5 year old's assessment. This was a little sad for me because, once again, it is a reminder that he's growing up and we're missing it. However, there were also a few bits of information that gave me a little peace. First, he now "exhibits a sense of humor" and "enjoys jokes, poems & riddles". These are important in our family. Otherwise, he might think we're all nuts! :-) He is reportedly "self sufficient in daily skills", "uses eating utensils well", and "competently runs errands". Yay for M.! (and me!) Physically, he can "walk on a straight drawn line", "touch toes with legs straight", and has "good hand control when drawing". He does not "begin to resist adult requests", nor does he "have nightmares". Again, yay!

My biggest....oh, I don't know what to call them....concerns? items of note? I can't say worries, because I really am trusting God to see us through this process and I believe that it will be what it will be and we WILL get through whatever comes our way. It's not keeping me up at night, but, in every report that we have gotten thus far, M. has not been rated well in the more cognitive/spatial tests -- counting to 5, drawing recognizable person, drawing houses, identifying colors, copying squares, crosses, triangles, or circles. In fact, he is still unable to do any of these things. Cognitive and spatial memory problems and developmental delays are, of course, one of the many possible effects of severe malnutrition. So, it's something that I'm watching and reading about and trying to prepare for. Yet, I also acknowledge that this is a little guy who probably hasn't had much practice with pencil and paper, or drawing, or being taught specific information, so it could just be something that he hasn't yet been exposed to. After all, his daddy was a farmer. Perhaps he could teach us all a few things about the land?! Still, something to be praying about if you all would be so kind!

Speaking of M.'s daddy, my heart has been hurting for him these past 2 days. Yesterday, I went and had a Power of Attorney for the Care and Custody of Minor Children notorized. This POA gives my parents the ability to seek medical care; submit insurance claims; talk to the doctors, the school, or any other confidentiality-concerned entity about my children; sign school field trip permission slips; etc., while we are out of the country. It is easily revoked and it was a very simple thing to do, and yet, I was having issues with it. It just FELT weird. Was scary thinking about anyone else being allowed to basically function as my kids parents -- even though we're talking about my parents here, who I love and trust completely. Understandably, this started me thinking about M.'s dad and how very, very hard it must have been for him. What an amazingly selfless thing to do for your child. I don't know if I could do it. I really don't.

I shed a lot of tears for him during the day, then received an email from my agency with M.'s "Relinquishment Decree". This led to a lot more tears. This document is from the lower courts in the area where M. lived. It is the document wherein M.'s dad is relinquishing his parental rights and giving M. to the orphanage to put him up for adoption. What struck me was how much was involved. Aside from the emotional difficulties that he must have gone through, he also had to go to court and testify. He had to complete paperwork and basically make a case for why he had to do this. He also had to have 3 people come to court with him to also testify why they believed this was necessary.

I won't go into details about it all, but it was heart-breaking to read the testimonies of these 3 friends or relatives. I wondered how many times they had gone to court for other friends or relatives, if others had done the same for them. The depth of the poverty around the world -- we just have NO IDEA what it's like. We really don't. We're like spoiled little children who are blinded to how lucky we are, how blessed we are, how very much we have. It's sad. It's so sad.

It is evident from the testimonies and also from the intake paperwork that we received with our referral that an education for M. is important to his dad. Perhaps this is another reason why I notice and feel concern about M.'s cognitive deficiencies at this point. What an amazing, selfless gift his dad is giving us and entrusting us with -- his son. I so very much want to do the very best I can to honor his dad, to grant his wishes for his son. When we go for our second trip, we will have the opportunity to meet M.'s dad. I am told that this will be the most gut-wrenching few hours of my entire life, but I feel so blessed to have this chance. I pray that he will show up for the meeting. Most birth parents do.

Lastly, I look at M.'s daddy and his incredible act of sacrifice and I think of God and how he made that same sacrifice for me (and for you). We didn't deserve it, but He did it anyway. Our first report from the orphanage reported that M. spent the first few days just "crying for his daddy", like Jesus on the cross, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" And the answers are the same: Love and Hope for the future.

What an honor it has been to play a part in this adoption.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
Ephesians 1:4-6