Can Hardly Believe It!

Oh. My. Goodness. I can hardly believe that the time has finally come. Early Friday morning, we are leaving to go meet M. and go to court to legally become his parents. This has been such a long process, yet, now it seems like...."WOW! Seriously?! We're really doing this?!"

In my normal, neurotic fashion, I have been preparing for this trip for weeks...err, months. And yet, now I feel panicked and certain that I've forgotten something terribly important. Not to mention that I am not a fan of traveling. I'm not afraid to fly, per se. I just hate the rushing, hate the connections, hate the crowds, hate the security checks and the customs procedures. And, honestly, hate everything being out of my control. (Yes, I know, silly to even think that I'm EVER in control - God's been working on me about that for years.)

Anyway....

Please pray for us during our trip. It will truly be a whirlwind of a trip -- exhausting physically and emotionally. Please pray:

• Thursday, Nov. 18th - for my parent’s safety as they travel to our house to watch the kids.
• Friday, Nov. 19th- for our flights - that we make our connections, that my back holds up during 24 hours of traveling, and that we make it through customs without problem with all the donations that we have for the orphanages
• Saturday, Nov. 20th - that we arrive safely in Addis Ababa, ET (and that our bags ALSO make it to ET), that our transport is waiting for us, and that we make it safely to the guest house
• Sunday, Nov. 21st in AM - THE DAY!! We meet M.! Please pray for his comfort - that he would not be afraid, that we will react in a way that is not frightening to him (hey, it could happen!) ;-) - and that we would all be able to soak in and enjoy every moment of this blessed few hours that we will have together!
• Sunday, Nov. 21st in PM- that our meeting with M.'s pediatrician goes well, that we remember to ask any questions that we should, and that we gather all information that we need; Also that our meeting with the attorney goes well, that we, again, get all information that is needed for a successful day in court!
• Monday, Nov. 22nd in AM- COURT!! that I am not a complete bundle of nerves, that we speak from the heart but don't say anything that might jeopardize our adoption, and that the judge grants us favor
• Monday, Nov. 22nd in PM- that our final meeting with M. will again be comforting to him, that he will understand that we WILL be coming back for him, and that we can go through the family album that we made him before we leave so that he will have something to hold onto until we come back to get him
• Monday, Nov. 22nd, late - that our flights home are, again, safe and smooth

BTW, Ethiopia is about 8 hours ahead of EST, so we will actually be going to court around 1 - 2 AM your time Monday morning.

Also, please pray for:

• our health - that we wouldn’t get sick while in ET, that Eric’s allergies aren’t horrible there, that my back doesn’t flare up, and that we are able to get some sleep during the time we're traveling and in ET
  
• our kids back home - that they would not be nervous & worrying about us, that they have fun and have all their needs met, that they are well-behaved and don’t give Grammy and Pappy a hard time! (not that they’d EVER do THAT!) ;-)
• Grammy & Pappy - that they’d have the energy to keep up with the kids and their schedules, that they have fun and enjoy the time with, and that they also have peace and don't worry about Eric and I
• our paperwork - that everything is in order, that we have everything we need, and that the people who are handling our adoption case do so with speed and accuracy!!
  

Thank you all so very much for praying for our family during this time. We are so excited, nervous, thrilled, awe-struck, amazed, afraid, humbled.....the waves of emotion go on and on!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Sadness & Single digits

Single digits first --- we leave for our first trip in 9 days!!!!

Yesterday, we received a few updates from our agency. First, we received a medical and a developmental update. The medical update was pretty sparse and was fairly unremarkable. Didn't have an updated weight which is always one of the more meaningful pieces of information to me -- is he gaining weight? But, there were no treatments listed which means that he is healthy and not receiving any medications so that's good news.

The development assessment was more telling. Because M. had a birthday since our last report, he now receives a 4 - 5 year old's assessment. This was a little sad for me because, once again, it is a reminder that he's growing up and we're missing it. However, there were also a few bits of information that gave me a little peace. First, he now "exhibits a sense of humor" and "enjoys jokes, poems & riddles". These are important in our family. Otherwise, he might think we're all nuts! :-) He is reportedly "self sufficient in daily skills", "uses eating utensils well", and "competently runs errands". Yay for M.! (and me!) Physically, he can "walk on a straight drawn line", "touch toes with legs straight", and has "good hand control when drawing". He does not "begin to resist adult requests", nor does he "have nightmares". Again, yay!

My biggest....oh, I don't know what to call them....concerns? items of note? I can't say worries, because I really am trusting God to see us through this process and I believe that it will be what it will be and we WILL get through whatever comes our way. It's not keeping me up at night, but, in every report that we have gotten thus far, M. has not been rated well in the more cognitive/spatial tests -- counting to 5, drawing recognizable person, drawing houses, identifying colors, copying squares, crosses, triangles, or circles. In fact, he is still unable to do any of these things. Cognitive and spatial memory problems and developmental delays are, of course, one of the many possible effects of severe malnutrition. So, it's something that I'm watching and reading about and trying to prepare for. Yet, I also acknowledge that this is a little guy who probably hasn't had much practice with pencil and paper, or drawing, or being taught specific information, so it could just be something that he hasn't yet been exposed to. After all, his daddy was a farmer. Perhaps he could teach us all a few things about the land?! Still, something to be praying about if you all would be so kind!

Speaking of M.'s daddy, my heart has been hurting for him these past 2 days. Yesterday, I went and had a Power of Attorney for the Care and Custody of Minor Children notorized. This POA gives my parents the ability to seek medical care; submit insurance claims; talk to the doctors, the school, or any other confidentiality-concerned entity about my children; sign school field trip permission slips; etc., while we are out of the country. It is easily revoked and it was a very simple thing to do, and yet, I was having issues with it. It just FELT weird. Was scary thinking about anyone else being allowed to basically function as my kids parents -- even though we're talking about my parents here, who I love and trust completely. Understandably, this started me thinking about M.'s dad and how very, very hard it must have been for him. What an amazingly selfless thing to do for your child. I don't know if I could do it. I really don't.

I shed a lot of tears for him during the day, then received an email from my agency with M.'s "Relinquishment Decree". This led to a lot more tears. This document is from the lower courts in the area where M. lived. It is the document wherein M.'s dad is relinquishing his parental rights and giving M. to the orphanage to put him up for adoption. What struck me was how much was involved. Aside from the emotional difficulties that he must have gone through, he also had to go to court and testify. He had to complete paperwork and basically make a case for why he had to do this. He also had to have 3 people come to court with him to also testify why they believed this was necessary.

I won't go into details about it all, but it was heart-breaking to read the testimonies of these 3 friends or relatives. I wondered how many times they had gone to court for other friends or relatives, if others had done the same for them. The depth of the poverty around the world -- we just have NO IDEA what it's like. We really don't. We're like spoiled little children who are blinded to how lucky we are, how blessed we are, how very much we have. It's sad. It's so sad.

It is evident from the testimonies and also from the intake paperwork that we received with our referral that an education for M. is important to his dad. Perhaps this is another reason why I notice and feel concern about M.'s cognitive deficiencies at this point. What an amazing, selfless gift his dad is giving us and entrusting us with -- his son. I so very much want to do the very best I can to honor his dad, to grant his wishes for his son. When we go for our second trip, we will have the opportunity to meet M.'s dad. I am told that this will be the most gut-wrenching few hours of my entire life, but I feel so blessed to have this chance. I pray that he will show up for the meeting. Most birth parents do.

Lastly, I look at M.'s daddy and his incredible act of sacrifice and I think of God and how he made that same sacrifice for me (and for you). We didn't deserve it, but He did it anyway. Our first report from the orphanage reported that M. spent the first few days just "crying for his daddy", like Jesus on the cross, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" And the answers are the same: Love and Hope for the future.

What an honor it has been to play a part in this adoption.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
Ephesians 1:4-6

November is...

National Adoption Month


What are you willing to do to help care for the 153 million orphans around the world?






"...counting down the days until they hold you close and say 'I love you'..."

18 days until we leave for Ethiopia. 20 days until we hold M. and tell him we love him!!

Still waiting.....

It's been quite a while since I've posted anything. There really isn't much new to report and, honestly, I find it easier just to stay busy and try not to think about the wait anymore than I have to. Thankfully, our travel time is approaching and doesn't seem quite so far away now. We leave in 25 days and meet M. in 27 days!!!! Less than a month! FINALLY!

Initially, it seemed like our process was going so quickly. Then, the laws changed requiring the second trip. Then, the courts closed down for six weeks. Then, our court date was scheduled for months away. And, next thing we knew, we were looking at waiting for 24 weeks from referral to court date. Unfortunately, that's how it goes with international adoption.

So, we're staying busy. I have prepared and frozen all the meals for our kids to eat at home while we're away. (Remember, Daniel has boatloads of food allergies so he isn't the easiest kid to feed!) I'm working on notes regarding schedules and such for my parents for the time they're here with the kids. And, we've been collecting donations. Lots of donations.

One of the blessings of adoptive parents being required to travel to Ethiopia for court is that it allows for an additional trip to take donations for the orphanages. I am pretty sure that Eric and I are each allowed to check 2 suitcases, plus take a carry-on bag. Therefore, we intend to pack most of our personal items in our carry-ons and maybe one suitcase. We will use the other suitcases to haul donations to the orphanages.

It's been humbling to purchase some of the items on the list of greatest needs that our agency provided us. Things like OTC anti-fungal cream, aspirin, band-aids. Things that I can hop in the car and drive to the dollar store and load up on. Things that are in great demand but very limited supply there. Mosquito nets to protect them from a preventable disease that causes the death of children everyday. Battery-powered lanterns and flashlights for the frequent power-outages. Clothes and shoes in desperate need when our closets and drawers are overflowing with items we haven't even worn in years. So much that we take for granted. So many blessings that we fail to acknowledge. So much that we have, but don't even think to give.

If anyone local wants to donate anything, let me know and I can send you a list of the current greatest needs.

"Then the righteous will answer him,
'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you,
or thirsty and give you something to drink?
When did we see you a stranger and invite you in,
or needing clothes and clothe you?
When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth,
whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine,
you did for me.'

Matthew 25: 37-40

How It Came to Be

I know that when we first announced that we were adopting, many people’s first reaction was one of shock. What? How did this come about? Are you doing this through your new church? There were a few close friends with whom I had shared my desire and the fact that I felt called to adopt YEARS AGO, who weren’t surprised. When I told them I had some exciting news to share, their first response was, “you’re pregnant?!” quickly followed by a shiver and emphatic “oh, dear God, no!” , “you’re adopting?!” But, for those who didn’t have a clue, I figured I’d take a few minutes to fill you in on how this all came to be. In order to do that, we have to go back. Way back. To 2003. Yep, SEVEN YEARS before we began our adoption journey.

In 2003, just prior to the birth of our second child, Eric and I were fortunate enough to be able to put an addition on our home. A fairly large addition. An entire second floor, in fact. Our original home was very tiny modest -- a 2 bedroom and 1 bathroom ranch with an unfinished basement. We’ll say it was.....cheap cozy. :-) The addition was actually larger than the original house thanks to cantilevers and other construction methods that kind of boggle my mind. The new floor had 3 large bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms, plus 2 large walk-in closets. <cue the heavenly music> I was very grateful for this opportunity to enlarge our home and found that my prayer became, “Thank you, Lord, for this home. Please let us always use it to glorify You.”

Fast forward 2 years. Happy little family living in the bigger house. Eric and I were regularly holding couple’s studies in our home with 4 or 5 other couples. We held some Friday night small groups. We were holding occasional Bible studies in our home. God was hopefully being glorified in our home. My prayer was being answered.

Then, in July 2005, most likely during one of my insane, neurotic, detailed searchings of the web for some information (probably attempting to diagnose some new injury that Eric had sustained), I stumbled upon an article about an orphanage in Romania. What I read blew my mind. As internet searchings often go, one article led to another, and another. One agencies’ website to another agencies’ website. One shocking statistic after another shocking statistic.

What?! Children actually live in orphanages for their entire lives without EVER knowing the love of a family?! Not all countries have foster care like the USA?! (I know - I was very sheltered and pathetically ignorant.) The children are just asked to leave the orphanage at the age of 16 or 17 with no place to go?! They never have their own clothes or their own shoes or their own toys?! Babies stop crying because they learn that no one is coming to pick them up no matter how much they cry?! With each word that was read, my heart broke piece by piece. Then I read, “do you have room in your home for one more?” and of course, we had just done this addition a few years before, so the answer was yes. And my prayer came back to mind....”Thank you, Lord, for this home. Please let us always use it to glorify You.” and I began to feel called to this. I thought about it and read more and more. I began to pray and was more and more certain.

I read verses like:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ...
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me. (Matthew 25:35,40)

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27)

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. (Matthew 18:5)

God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. (Psalm 68:6)

Yep - we were being called. Surely this was God’s will for our family. So, I talked to Eric about it, fully expecting an affirmative, "YES, this is definitely our calling!"

Surprisingly, he said, “nope. sorry. not going to happen. no way.” I was shocked. What?! How could we NOT do this?! He apologized. He said he was praying about it. He said he’d think about it. “Ooooh, ok”, I thought, “He’s definitely going to change his mind”. I am certain about this. I know it deep in my soul that we’re doing this. I patiently waited and occasionally sent an email with a little quote or a link to a website or a Bible verse that I stumbled upon. I...umm....bought 2 of the comforters for Daniel’s big boy bed because, well, I wanted them to match when we added the second bed!! :-) But, weeks went by. And nothing. He wasn't changing his mind.

Here’s where my neurotic, crazy, very organized nature becomes kind of fun. I still have the emails that we sent back and forth during this time! It is SO COOL to be able to look back and know that God’s hand was on this the entire 5 years that it took for us to begin this journey. Here’s a quote from the last email that Eric sent to me regarding the idea of adopting (back in Aug. 2005):

As for the adoption, I wish I were inclined towards it.  I wish God had

impressed it upon my heart.  I don't understand why we have been

differently led in this.  I'm guessing there is something larger here

in the works. Where it goes, only He knows.  Further, I don't see a

firm schedule to this - all things happen in His time.  I'll keep my

heart open, and I'll keep talking to Him about it.

Following this exchange, still a little shocked because I was SO certain that this was our calling, I eventually began to believe “this must have just been MY desire for our family, not God’s will for us”. I kept telling myself, “surely if He was calling us to this, He’d have called BOTH of us!”, so I gave up the idea and accepted that it just was never going to happen.

OK, now fast forward to 2010. Eric and I sponsor a couple of kids through Compassion International. One little boy, named Maxxon, was born on the exact same day as our Daniel. Maxxon lives in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. So, on January 12, 2010, when the earthquake hit, we began praying for him. We watched the devastating news reports and we waited for news from Compassion regarding his safety. We watched the news stories about the Haitian orphans being evacuated to Pittsburgh and about all the newly orphaned children. We saw the government shut down to adoption due to the devastation. And, we just kept praying for Maxxon and his family.

During this time, Eric was home from work one day and we went out to lunch. I was telling him about a recent report that I had seen about the earthquake. And, completely out of the blue, he says, “you know, if you’re still open to adopting, I’m open to it now.” (????!!!!!!)

What?!!!!! That was FIVE YEARS AGO!!!!! I was just accepted into a Master’s program and had finally figured out what I wanted to do for a career when I went back to work.

I just sat, dumbfounded. Every time I started to talk, I would start to cry. It was the strangest lunch date EVER. We barely spoke because neither of us could speak. No. I hadn’t changed my mind. Yes. I still felt called to it. But, I just....I had given up on it ever actually happening. And seriously, you’re just telling me this now?! Couldn’t you have given me a little heads up that you were thinking about it? Did you just now decide this?

He explained that he couldn’t really explain it. That he had felt his heart softening to the idea over the years and that he DID say that he’d keep his heart open to it and keep praying about it. (5 years ago!) :-)

I teased him later about him being SLOW on the uptake, but in all honestly, it is truly amazing to look back and see the things that were taking place during the 5 years to prepare us and to make straight the path. God's timing is perfect! He is amazing!

This post is long enough for today, but I’ll post again soon & explain the 5 years of prep and how we can now clearly see God's handprints along the way.

Special Delivery....

No, unfortunately, not our sweet boy. However, his BED was delivered today! Yay!

We were going out of town for Labor Day weekend but saw that our favorite furniture store was having a big sale for Labor Day, so we stopped over there Friday before we left town & ordered a twin bed and mattress for M. I informed the sales guy that I wasn't really in that much of a hurry for delivery because I had to paint the room before it was delivered. When we checked our options though, because Eric has to go to California for work next week, the latest I could take delivery was Friday (today). We were returning from our trip on Monday evening, giving me 3 days before delivery. I could do it! right?!

Of course I could! (although not without some pain & exhaustion!) I took everything off the walls & spackled all the nail holes and dents from flying Thomas the trains of past years before we left town. Then, I slaved away for 2 days once we got back home - painting 2 coats, despite buying the expensive paint with primer in hopes that I would only need 1 coat! (is it even possible to EVER need only one coat? Seriously, has anyone EVER had this wish fulfilled, because I know that I haven't!) Regardless, the light green walls with dinosaur mural are gone. Replaced by a nice, neutral light beige (called sandstone cove) - NOT black like Daniel was telling everyone! :-) I'm willing to do a Pittsburgh Penguins room, but I am NOT willing to paint the walls black.

BEFORE

Thankfully, the furniture store still carried the line of bedroom furniture that we originally bought for Daniel's room so we were able to get the same bed. (you know, the matching thing is important to me, because....well, just because!)

I had ordered some Pittsburgh Penguins bedding a few weeks ago when it was on sale. So, I made up the beds, have a few other decorations -- personalized Penguins flags for over the boys' beds and a hockey forward shadow mural for the one wall over M.'s bed -- on order, and rearranged clothes in the drawers to give M. some drawers for his clothes, too! I put the books and the stuffed animals that we've already purchased for M. on his bed/bookcase headboard. And, I started putting some of his new clothes in drawers.

AFTER

Daniel LOVES it! I am thrilled that the second bed fits better than I thought it was going to. The train table/play table still fits in the room. And, it's all neat and organized....for at least the moment! Now, we just have to hope that M. likes hockey and that Daniel continues to like hockey! :-) (because I assure you that I will NOT be changing the room again for quite a while!)

DANIEL'S BED

M.'S BED

And, one last delivery of the day!

I got an email from Holt today with an updated medical/developmental report that the doctor & head nurse did on Sept. 1st. No illnesses or problems. Since his last report from May, he has gained about 4 pounds and grown 6 cm., which is awesome! Of course, sadly, he still only weighs about 28 pounds and he's 4 years old. :-( But, the developmental report seems to indicate that he's getting along ok, playing with other kids, shares well, can stack more than 10 blocks, etc. The only thing of real note was that he is apparently VERY SHY - especially around people that he doesn't know, and he doesn't talk much but he will answer questions if he's asked. The poor little thing has been through so much in his short life, it's no wonder he's shy. It breaks my heart because in most of the pictures that we've received, he looks very shy and scared. I can't wait to gather him in my arms & comfort him, to provide him with a stable, safe place to live, and a family to feel a part of!!

70 days until we board a flight for Ethiopia to attend our court date and hopefully become the legal parents of this sweet, shy little boy! Until then, we pray and hope and wait!

Happy Birthday M.!

Yesterday was M.'s 4th birthday. Sadly, we weren't celebrating it with him, but we were celebrating it with many, many awesome friends. What better way for us to not think about the things that we didn't have than to think about all the things that we did have?! On Saturday, we had a lot of great friends surrounding us, loving and caring for us, supporting us, and giving to us. They are amazing!

Several weeks ago, our dear friends Paul and Connie called and said they'd like to hold a fundraiser picnic to help us with our travel expenses. We were so blessed by their offer because with the addition of the second trip, finances were going to be quite a stretch. They sent out invites and planned a special day for us. They asked guests to consider making a donation to our travel fund as a birthday gift to M. and a show of love for us and support for our adoption.

The weather was absolutely beautiful! A perfect day for a picnic. A few weeks before the picnic, Paul met a man named Marv Hampton, who is a "Neil Diamond performer", and he offered to come and perform at the picnic for no charge. He was great and those who like Neil Diamond loved him. Those of us who don't like Neil Diamond so much, still loved him - for his heart and the nice atmosphere that it provided for the picnic! It really added to the day and it was so nice of him to come and perform for free when he didn't even know us.



Connie and Paul ordered a very yummy cake with M.'s sweet picture on it. We displayed all the pictures that we have of M. thus far so people could finally see his sweet face. I put together some informational posters with pictures from fellow adoptive parents who have recently traveled so that our friends could see where we'll be going, where we'll be staying, where M. is currently living, and where M. spent the first few years of his life. I made some Ethiopian food - Yemiser W'et - and ordered some injera. I also gave instructions on the proper way to eat it - even if some people preferred to eat it their own way! (Carol!) :-) Connie made lots of great food and everyone else brought tasty things to share as well. There was certainly no shortage of food. Seemed that every time I walked by the food table, I had to eat more because there was something new that I hadn't tried yet! The kids were all wonderfully behaved, as always (ha!) and had a great time playing croquet, climbing Paul & Connie's tree, and playing touch football. Aside from poor little 4 year old Adam breaking his collarbone (for the second time in a month!!), it was a perfect day!

(I'm sorry for the hearted-out faces, but I still can't post M.'s picture!)

We are so very grateful for everyone who attended, who donated to our travel fund, who laughed with us and listened to us babble on and on about Ethiopia or M., who brought their aluminum cans for our recycling fundraiser, who tried my Ethiopian food, who prayed for us (and continue to do so), who support us, and who, just simply, love us. Thank you for everything! We love you and we appreciate you so very much!







When the picnic was over, we came home, sat down together, and opened all the beautiful cards and read your sweet words of encouragement. Together, you all gave us $1265.21 to put towards our travel expenses - more than enough to cover the cost of one of our plane tickets for our first trip! Thank you so very, very much. And, I have to add how much I love that the 21 cents was put into the box by sweet little Grant (Daniel's friend) and that the two pictures hanging on the glass door were drawn by Olivia and Max (our neighbors' kids who are also friends with Mackenzie and Daniel but weren't able to attend). How very sweet that even the children in our lives are supporting us and can't wait to see M. come home!




One last blessing of the day was that after we were home & opened the cards and got Daniel to bed, I checked my email and got 2 new pictures of M. from his friend's new parents who recently returned from Ethiopia. The pictures are from their new son's farewell ceremony. M. is wearing a green t-shirt that has a picture of 2 robots (how perfect for Daniel's little brother and Eric's son!!). One robot is big, the other is little, and they're holding hands. The shirt reads, "Small but Intelligent". :-) So very cute and perfect for this family!! PLUS, there is video of the ceremony too which the other dad will be sending along once he figures out how! Oh, how I can't wait to see little M. in motion!! And, oh how I hope he enjoyed his birthday as much as we did!!

Happy birthday, M.!!
We can't wait to bring you home so that you, too,
will be surrounded by all this love!!