Saturday, December 18, 2010

Mixed Emotions this Christmas

I've been feeling a little sad lately. I really wanted Markos home with us before Christmas. I wanted to see his face light up like my other kids' faces when he walked down the stairs Christmas morning. I wanted to see his eyes twinkle as he looks at the lights and trees and decorations galore. But, he won't be here. He'll be in an orphanage on the other side of the world, not celebrating Christmas on December 25th. They celebrate Ethiopian Christmas on January 7th. I'm not sure how much or what celebrating they do in the orphanage, if any.

I'm glad I did the majority of our Christmas shopping before we went to Ethiopia at the end of November, because after seeing the things that I saw there, it's been hard to go out and shop. Hard to literally wrack my brain to think of something, anything to buy for people. Things that they don't need, might not like, might not even use. Why am I buying this STUFF?!

It's been hard to keep fielding the questions, "what do you want for Christmas?", "what do the kids need for Christmas?". NOTHING!! Seriously, the answer is nothing. They NEED nothing. I NEED nothing. I want nothing. How could I want for more after seeing the extreme poverty in Ethiopia. We've got what we NEED: food, water, a place to live, safety, health, access to medical care. Half a world away, there are millions of people who don't even have these basics. That's what I want for Christmas, for them to have the basics. And for my son to be home with us so he can have the basics and so much more.


  1. You know I understand. Completely.

  2. I am in the same place. heart all achy. Nothing could take the place of having our babies home. Love you, sister.


  3. Oh Lori! Katya and I sat and sobbed watching that video earlier this week. Prayers for your family and all the waiting children abound.

  4. Lori,
    I feel your mother's heart and how you LONG for him to be in your arms. I pray that the Holy Spirit will use this time to knit your hearts together -- even across the vast distance. I pray that when Markos sees you, he will KNOW in the deepest part of his heart and soul that you are Momma and Eric is Daddy ~ FOREVER!!!